Level Up: Insights for Personal Leadership & Self-Management Excellence
The Hidden Advantage of Asking: A Faster Path to Success, a practical wisdom and inspiring insights—shared to guide your leadership journey.
The Hidden Advantage of Asking: A Faster Path to Success, a practical wisdom and inspiring insights—shared to guide your leadership journey.
You have your goals clearly defined. You have a written plan with deadlines. You visualize success daily. So, what's the missing piece that will truly accelerate your progress?
The answer is surprisingly simple, yet often overlooked: asking.
One of the main reasons people don't get what they want is that they don't ask enough. Think about it. Have you truly asked the people who can help you—your customers, friends, mentors, or boss—for what you need to achieve your goals? If not, you are leaving your success to chance.
One of the fastest ways to achieve what you want is surprisingly simple—ask.
In his book, How to Get Whatever You Want, M. R. Kopmeyer highlights a powerful truth: “Asking is the powerful answer. Asking is the fastest, easiest, and surest way to get whatever you want.”
Yet, many people hesitate to ask—held back by fear, doubt, or uncertainty. In reality, knowing how to ask effectively is not just a skill, but a strategic advantage in accelerating your success.
Because, from childhood, we have all been taught, trained, and "attitude-conditioned" to do what we are asked. When you push this psychological button, people are naturally inclined to respond. The question is: how many people have you asked to help you get what you want? A few? A dozen? A hundred?
In reality, success requires us to ask—a lot. As Jack Canfield wisely said, "If you are not moving closer to what you want in sales (or in life), you probably aren't doing enough asking."
Mahatma Gandhi reminds us: "If you don't ask, you don't get."
And it is a divine promise: "Ask and I shall give you."
The simple formula is this: The more you ASK, the more you will GET!
However, asking effectively is an art. It's not about demanding or pestering. It's about making it easy and desirable for someone to say "yes."
To get what you want successfully, you must learn to:
ASK courteously. Begin with genuine respect and politeness.
ASK expectantly. Let your voice and attitude convey that you believe the other person will gladly help.
ASK reasonably. Ensure both what you are asking for and how you are asking for it are fair and logical.
ASK persuasively. Never demand. The word "demand" should not be in your vocabulary. Pressure creates resistance; your goal is to build agreement.
ASK pleasantly. Approach the conversation without pressure. A relaxed, positive tone invites cooperation.
ASK politely. Let your entire demeanor imply that the other person will be agreeable and cooperative.
ASK firmly. This is the most important—and most difficult—skill. You must give the firm impression that your request is reasonable and that you will pleasantly persist until you get a clear answer.
What happens when you ask and the answer is "no"? Don't be discouraged. A "no" is often not a final rejection, but a signal.
Most people say "no" because they aren't sure that agreeing is best for them. It can be a defense mechanism, a way to buy time to think, or a reaction to feeling rushed. Treat a "no" as the start of a conversation, not the end of it.
If the "no" seems genuine, your most powerful response is to simply ask: "Why?"
Your calm, curious surprise can cause the other person to reconsider their own position. Your task then becomes to reassure them—to show them how agreeing to your request can also be best for them.
Ultimately, your success with this principle comes down to one undeniable truth: The Law of Average. This law is based on the sheer number of people you ask. The more people you ask, the more you will get of whatever you want.
By consistently asking more people, and doing so more skillfully, you are not just hoping for success—you are systematically moving closer to it. You are turning your goals from a destination you are walking toward into a reality you are actively pulling toward yourself.
So, start asking today. You have a lot of asking to do to succeed!
Your goals are not meant to be pursued in silence. The world cannot respond to a request it never hears. By mastering the art of asking—courteously, persuasively, and persistently—you unlock doors that were always there, waiting to be opened.
Remember, every "no" brings you closer to a "yes," and every person you ask is a step forward on your path. So, be clear in your vision, be bold in your requests, and trust that the more you ask, the more you will receive.
Your success is waiting—go and ask for it.
MR. TAIDIN SUHAIMIN
The author of The Hidden Advantage of Asking: A Faster Path to Success
A Certified & Accredited Malaysian HRDCorp Professional Trainer, Certified Entrepreneurial Mentor, Author, and Motivational Speaker.
He has delivered training and speaking programs on Personal Leadership & Management Skills, Interpersonal Communication Skills, and Team Leadership & Management Skills to employees from more than 250 organizations in Southeast Asia, and the Middle East since 1994.
“You do not get what you want. You get what you ask for.” - Patricia Fripp
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“If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” - Nora Roberts